I’m watching Divergent. When Four says “I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest”, it makes me wish everyone had the same goal. That would be nice except I know I’m not great at all of those either. I can be selfish and for sure I can be mean as hell on occasion.
I’ve developed goals for myself, but hearing him say that line in the movie made me want to include some goals that meet his criteria.
Brave: I don’t want to be cautious. I want to step outside my comfort zone more. Take risks and I’m not talking about hitting 100mph going down the road. Been there and done that more than once. Not that kind of risk.
[this is your one life, and fear, approval, and self-preservation are terrible reasons to stay silent, stay put, stay sidelined.] Of Mess And Moxie by Jen Hatmaker
I don’t plan to be sidelined. I plan to be brave and face what comes my way. I want to ask for what I want in my career. I want to seek new opportunities because I’m willing to put myself out there. I want to realize some dreams I had put away for later. If I’m brave everything I want is on the other side of my fears. It’s up to me to get there.
Selfless: To be selfless and of service to others go hand in hand. I just finished my last year as a deacon at my church, so I have an opportunity to be of service in a new/different way within my church.
There are other ways to be selfless, such as working in your community or with a charity. Maybe it’s closer to home because you have aging parents or grandparents that you assist in their care.
Care is such a selfless thing. My grandmother, before she passed, had Alzheimer’s. Not an easy disease for anyone.
There may be times you need a selfish moment because you’re too selfless, so don’t beat yourself up if you do.
I have a child that is about to graduate from high school and go off to college later this year. I make lots of sacrifices for him, but I think that’s part of the package of being a parent. Even though I put aside my needs for him I can still find ways to be selfless that are outside my norm.
Ask, and it shall be given you, seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Matthew 7:7
I need to look for the opportunity God has in store for me.
Smart: I think there’s a different between intelligence and being smart. You can have all the intelligence in the world and have no common sense.
Being smart utilizes your intelligence and making adaptions on the fly. I love ripping off the Marines – improvise, adapt, overcome – because it represents my whole life. I learned early to do all 3 and I just keep doing it. None of that makes me any smarter than the next person only that I’m taking what I’ve got and maximizing on it any way I can.
So this year I want to make smart choices when it comes to my career, my personal life and goals for my blog.
Last note on this one – be smart about relationships. There are people that come and go from our lives….it’s ok. I’ve learned to let go, push away, build a barrier, and hug tight depending on the person. Everything in a season and that goes for people too.
Kind: Here’s one I struggle with especially when I feel the person has done me wrong. It’s a practice in forgiveness and letting go. I suck at it. I’d like to say I’ll do one kind thing a day, but I’m going to shoot for one a week. I’ll work up to one a day. By kind, I mean selfless, no gain for myself, just trying to find the best in others and myself.
My sister says kindness could be smiling at someone even if they don’t respond back. Having a friendly attitude. It costs her nothing to be kind in this positive way.
I was recently asked if I had compassion for someone that I struggle with and my honest answer was no. Terrible I know. How do I find my compassion and express kindness when all I can feel is ambivalent? Obviously an area I’m working on and fortunately I have a good example in my sister of what kindness looks like.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
Honest: This one is just part of my make up, but how many times do you not want to hurt someone’s feelings so you “bend” the truth. Omit. Never say anything cause you’re going with “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” We’ve all done it.
My goal is to be brave and face down being honest even when it’s not the pleasant choice. I’m getting a two for one with this option. Just remember to be smart in your word choice. Brutal honesty can be construed as being cruel. Check that out…kindness.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
I want to have a beautiful heart and finding it includes being brave, selfless, smart, kind and honest – all things divergent.
Challenge yourself to the goal of being divergent. Practice bravery, selflessness, being smart not just intelligent, kind even when you don’t want to be kind, and finally be honest with yourself and with others this year.
*Divergent by Veronica Roth for any interested in the book
– G.
Related Links:
Goal Achiever or Just a Setter: Practical Strategies for Success
Musings by G 