A lightning bolt

A lightning bolt

I talked about my struggles with my temper a bit in my last blog. As a kid there was a lot of family strife and it boiled out of me when I couldn’t take the stress of it anymore. How did I find patience and peace? It was a long process that took years. 

My poor anger habits were ingrained. When I look back over the years I see baby steps away from that poor habit. Patience was a level of maturity I hadn’t attained in some areas. Anger has a way of making a shaky conversation take a nose dive. It wasn’t until I had a child that I started getting a bigger grasp of my anger issue. You think it’s easy to control…ummm not. Pops out at the most inappropriate times. At the time I was married and for sure he knew how to push every angry button I had. I could see myself losing control, but I couldn’t reel it in for the life of me. 

It wasn’t until after my divorce that I had an epiphany. Whoever controls my anger controls me. WTH! That can’t be right. The more I thought about it the more disturbingly real that statement became…and it was in my own head so it was a rowdy conversation. 

Once that lightning bolt of realization settled in I promised myself that I would not allow my anger to control me again. I’ve struggled through some situations. I know I’ve lost it a few times, but I’ve come a long way from out of control. 

I’m not going to say I don’t get mad, but I decide what my reaction will be. Do I confront the person? Do I wait till emotions have cooled down? Let it go because it’s just not worth an argument? Do I plot justice (might possibly be called revenge but that sounds so negative)?….sometimes justice is fun stuff. 

Point is get a grip on the emotions so YOU are the one in control not someone else.

-G.

Be the exception 

Be the exception 

Extinction is the rule. Survival is the exception. -Carl Sagan

I’m reading a James Rollins book and this quote jumped out at me. It reminded me of my personal motto that I completely ripped off from the US Marines. Improvise – Adapt – Overcome.

Over the years there have been many times when I’ve had to look at my life or situation and decide: How can I make this happen? What can I do for things to go in the direction I want or need? Sometimes those decisions are made on the fly….what am I saying they are always on the fly. That’s why I have this motto!

When I ponder on this quote it really drives home that we are all doomed to extinction of some sort, but it’s up to each of us to decide if we’re going to survive or not. Trial by fire seems to be the rule. How do you survive those challenging times?

Just because we go through trials doesn’t mean there isn’t a purpose or a learning opportunity. I don’t want to say all challenges are bad because ultimately that experience might be the force that drives us to greatness. Do we like living through the experience? Probably not…never. I don’t wake up saying oh yeah another miserable day, or is there an obstacle I can throw in my path that I missed all the other days…yeah not doing that. I try to find something positive throughout the day.

How does a positive attitude make a difference? Well everything is about your attitude. A positive mindset allows you to tap into a more productive and creative self. Being able to have a great perspective means you are able to increase your intuitive capabilities, wisdom, and common sense. Something we could all use more of I’m sure!

My goal is to always be the exception – so far so good – had a few moments where I thought I might check out early and make it on the extinct list. Nope. God seems to have a plan for me so I dig deep, plug in, and charge up to survive. Living up to that ripped off motto…or maybe it’s in spite of it. Could be a combo – I’m just stubborn like that.

156517-charles-darwin-survival-quote

Charles Darwin is misquoted all the time about survival of the fittest…true story. This quote really pairs well with Carl Sagan’s I think. Surviving boils down to being adaptable to change otherwise you will become extinct. There are many organisms that haven’t survived the ages due to that fact. In today’s times it’s more than likely due to humans but in the past it was other types of pressures, disease, or lack of forage. Whatever the case as we make our way through life it’s up to us to be able to survive. No one can do it for you.

Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine, and she was telling me a story about a lady she knows that was put into a nursing home/rehab facility. Basically her family dumped her there. So here comes someone that isn’t a relation and looking at the situation aghast with disblief because this lady had deteriorated to a naked woman wearing a nasty, dirty diaper in a chair that appeared absolutely crazy and out of her head. That was the show because she didn’t know what else to do because her family left her there, and they weren’t coming back other than to take care of the bill each month. She makes the connection that it’s my friend and then says ‘well sure it’s you – who else would it be, so get me cleaned up and dressed.’ My friend had a tough love talk with her and said ‘if you are ever going to get out of this place you are going to have to do it for yourself – NO ONE is going to do it for you.’ That’s what she did. It was a long and hard road out of that facility, but she’s back in her own home, living her life, almost the same as before she went into the facility.

What does that tell me? Same thing I’ve known for a long time. That I have to be willing to survive on my own. I can’t rely on other people to do it for me. Fortunately I have a really strong faith and family that I fall back on or it would be a lonely survival. God has pulled me through several tough ones. If you have a significant other that you can rely on that is fantastic I don’t, but I’m not going to dwell on it either. Life is for living and looking towards the future, not for regretting the things in the past. 

Be the exception in life! Survive in spite of the odds.

-G.

 

 

 

 

Blackhat

Blackhat

A few days ago I was watching the movie Blackhat and the villian in this movie thinks he’s pretty clever. I’m sure mostly because he’s a hacker, which means he’s anonymous and his actions are clandestine. I don’t know any hackers, but I do know some people that thought they were so clever they wouldn’t ever be caught in their own web of deceit. Oh the tangeled webs they weave. It’s when they’re wrapped up so tight like Frodo, the hobbit, in Lord of the Rings that it gets really entertaining.

I’m an observer of human nature….love people watching. Put me in an airport, an amusement park or Wal-Mart and I’ll be happy as a clam watching what’s going on around me. I also like watching movies or reading books where there is intrigue and figuring it out well in advance. Take Game of Thrones for example – I had a theory that’s pretty much on the money right away as I started reading the books. George RR Martin is a good story teller, and I like to connect the dots in his story. That’s what I do in life as well. Things that seem like they don’t go together or happen in an unusal way, well it might be they really do connect. I like figuring it out.

Anyone love strategy games? If it’s on an xbox I’ll probably die right away. Just not that coordinated when it comes to gaming systems, but a board game where you can put time and thought into it totally different scenerio. Settler’s of Catan is one of my favorites. I think my nerd rankings have shot up with this blog.

Okay back to Blackhat – the villian is also an opportunist. When you’re down they take the most advantage. Well that’s what he thought before he ended up dead. That happens to us in real life as well. People that are opportunist will look for that moment you are weak, down, not aware of deceit, and they strike. Striking with only themselves in mind. There is no thought to your well being or those around you. How do you protect yourself from that? Because staying vigilant all they time isn’t possible. I don’t really know the answer to that question. I would like to assume positive intent until I know that to be untrue. When I start seeing certain tendencies popping up in the other person, then my connect the dots behavior goes into overdrive. I don’t believe in coincidence. There is a purpose or design for everything. It’s possible that due to my life experiences I just happen to be on the lookout for it.

We all have experiences that can overshadow our lives, but it’s how we react to those situations as they arise that determine whether or not we overcome them. It’s okay to be disappointed, let down and know you’ve been lied to but we have the ability to decide if we are going to be the victim. Or stand up and say where did I have some accountability, where can I take some ownership of what happened, what blinders do I need to rip off so that I can be more successful as I continue in my life.

Life isn’t easy or perfect but we can find joy even in the hardship. It’s all about our perspective. Are you facing the future or trying to linger in the past?

-G.

*Photo credit: https://www.wired.com/2016/04/hacker-lexicon-white-hat-gray-hat-black-hat-hackers/